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On Halloween morning
I was sitting at my computer about to start an important conversation with my
book editor, when she gave me the news.
Michael Palmer had
passed away just a day earlier. Suddenly.
My heart stopped for
a moment and fell to the pit of my stomach. I don’t think she realized Michael
was not just an author we looked up to, but he was a friend. He meant a great deal to me, and I mourned him that
morning with tears, filled with sorrow and regret.
You see, I met
Michael just two years ago at a writer’s conference. I remember talking with
him before the conference started with my friend Carine. The three of us
talking casually. I didn’t realize whom he was or that he was the keynote
speaker that morning. He was just a nice guy.
During his speech he
said something that was so profound, that it became my motto within my
work. He said, “Writing is hard, be fearless.”
When he returned
from the podium after his keynote, I called him Dr. Palmer. With a big laugh,
he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said, “Ah Fuck, call me Michael.”
Through out the conference he forged a friendship with Carine and me, one that left
us with his warm spirit and wise words imprinted on us forever.
When I listened to
the heartfelt words of his three sons during his funeral broadcast, I learned
that many people have had the same experience. It was a combination of his
compassion and enthusiasm. He had a way of making you feel like you were a
special person. As if he could see the true value in everyone’s life. I remember
that often and try to live that way too.
Michael lived a life
that I not only admired, but sought after. He was a physician and a successful
author. I wanted to know how he did it, how he spent his days, what was his
best advice for a new author. For whatever reason, I put off having that conversation
with him. I think because I didn’t want to jeopardize his time, though I know
he would have given it joyfully.
Finally, in early
October I contacted him to set up that meeting. I was traveling to the west
coast and we planned to speak when I returned and before he went to South
Africa. I started Oath of Office on the plane to California and wanted to
finish it before our talk. But when I returned my schedule became busy with more
travel and long hours at the office, that it was difficult to find time and
finish the book.
All of that seems
trivial now, because by the end of the month he was gone. And all of those
things that kept me from doing the thing that really mattered felt pointless.
It was a shock. I never thought time would run out, but it had. When someone
passes suddenly everyone says, “Live like you’re dying…etc”, but it wasn’t
until it directly affected my life, until something was taken unexpectedly that
I realized how important it is to stop waiting.
I waited too long to
do something that was important, something that mattered to me. And now… the
moment is gone and I can never have it back. It filled me with regret and a
sense of urgency. In the short time I knew Michael, he taught me so much, but
he taught me the greatest lesson in his death.
Don’t wait on the
things that matter. Forget about the right
time, about ducks in a row, about what’s in your way. When you stop to think
about what’s really stopping you, the answer is usually YOU. And why should you be an obstacle to your
pursuit?
To my friend Michael
Palmer: You were a world-class gentleman with a heart of gold. One of the best
I've ever known or will ever know. You are truly missed.
For more information on Michael and his work, please
visit http://www.michaelpalmerbooks.com
